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What do you say to yourself daily? Are you aware of your own self talk? What would happen if I followed you around and whispered in your ear that you suck? Or that you are not good at anything? Or that you are not attractive? Or that everyone else is better than you? You would feel BAD, right? This is a no-brainer, a silly question. Why would I even ask such a thing? Because, whether we know it or not, many of us talk to ourselves in this way daily. Many of us compare ourselves to others or to some unrealistic standard that we could never possibly live up to. We make ourselves feel inferior or not capable or negative by the things we tell ourselves about ourselves. This kind of self talk can impact us in lots of different ways. Here are a few:
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- When we feel not good enough, we will not live up to our potential. We can not be our best versions of ourselves when we do not believe we are capable.
- We will give up more easily. If we tell ourselves negative things, we will feel discouraged, which is likely to lead to quitting without reaching our goal.
- Talking to ourselves negatively can lead to depression. Hearing negative things constantly (even in our own head), often leads to decreased mood and energy.
- Anxiety can increase. When we are constantly telling ourselves we are not good enough, we can become anxious. We are setting ourselves up for failure because the standard becomes unrealistic; whatever we do achieve is not enough. This constant feeling of failure can lead to anxiety.
These are just a few examples of how negative self talk can impact us.
So, the question becomes, how do we change it. Find a few positive statements to replace the negative ones with. Everytime you tell yourself something negative, replace it immediately with something positive. Make sure this statement is something realistic, or you will have trouble believing it over time. Maybe say something like, “I am beautiful just the way I am.” “I am smart rather or not I do well on my presentation.” “I can complete this task and do it well.” If you practice replacing your negative self talk daily, the new thoughts will eventually replace the old ones. Do not expect this to happen overnight, however. It is likely that you’ve been doing this a long time, so the change will not happen immediately. It’s like anything else we seek to change, it happens by practicing it over and over again. I suggest writing down the negative thoughts each time you have them and also writing the replacement. This will help make you more aware of it and will also increase the speed at which you recognize the thoughts and replace them.
How our thoughts impact us and how to change them is a very important subject that can create powerful change, so please watch for future articles regarding this subject.
