Ahhhh, the holidays are upon us! I personally love this time of year, the smells, the tastes, and the sounds all make me feel reminiscent of special times past and make me excited for new memories being created. But we all know that the holidays bring along with them not only positive things, there is often a whole collection of difficulties and stressors. My personal goal is always to try to minimize those and focus on the positive. But, like most things, that can be much easier said than done!
Here are a few of the top stressors I’ve encountered over the years as well as issues I’ve helped others deal with:Read more about Holiday stress.....
1. The desire for everything to be perfect. Before her stent in jail, I called this the “Martha Stewart syndrome.” Now a more appropriate term may be “Pinterest envy”. Everywhere you look, there are images of what makes the holidays perfect, rather that’s how you choose to decorate, making that perfect pumpkin pie, or having holiday cards with portraits that surpass last year’s (just to name a few). It’s so easy to get caught up in this standard of perfection. Of course, perfection is not realistic, so all we do is set ourselves up for failure and create tons of frustration and disappointment along with way. I find it helpful to keep in mind that whatever you’re looking at to try to emulate is staged. Magazine layouts have a whole crew preparing and staging the area, and even then they take hundreds of pictures to just get the few that you see in front of you. Store displays don’t have children near them bothering them as they’re setting up or destroying them as soon as they finish! Pinterest and Facebook pictures are people’s best work. You don’t see the mess ups before the great post or the frustration trying to get it to look just-so or the mess on the other side of the camera. (I just love those “nailed it” posts people do trying to re-create a perfect Pinterest idea). The fact is, comparing real life to images is silly. Real life is messy and unpredictable, and if you learn to take a few deep breaths and let it be what its going to be, that can all be the best part of the memories!
2. Financial stress! The holidays are full of extra expenses. From decorations to food to extra company to travel to holiday cards to presents, everywhere you look there seems to be another expense. It’s enough to keep you up at night! This is especially the case if you’ve gotten caught up in the hype of the perfection issue above (perfection is pricey!). My recommendation is to take an honest look at what you really need, what’s really going to make a difference, and try to forget the rest. If it won’t impact the experience of the holiday, don’t buy it! Another valuable tool is to make a list of things you plan to buy and only buy things that are on the list. One rule I adhere to this time of year is to set a dollar limit and then don’t allow myself to spend over that limit on any item without a 24 hour “cooling off” time first. This eliminates that impulse spending the stores are counting on, which is the reason they build their tempting and beautiful displays!
3. The stress of family. As much as we love our families, they tend to be the people that can drive us the most crazy. If you find your blood pressure elevating, you are not alone! Understanding what is happening internally is helpful in changing this reaction. When our muscles tighten and our jaw clenches, our sympathetic nervous system is activated. This means we are in a fight or flight mode. Believe it or not, these annoyances are actually signaling our brain that there is danger present. And while this is not physical danger, the emotional danger is just as real to our body and brain. Doing a few things to de-escalate will help your body to recognize that it can relax and stop pumping out the adrenaline. Taking deep slow breaths (at least 5), doing some visualization of a relaxing place, and telling yourself soothing thoughts are all some of the ways to begin to soothe your system and help you return to a baseline. If you find it difficult to soothe after trying these techniques, try doing something physical to burn off some of the energy and then return to the relaxation techniques. This could include a brisk walk, doing some jumping jacks or push ups, hitting a punching bag or pillow, or jumping on a trampoline. Even 5 minutes of activity such as these can make a big difference.
I hope these few tools will help make your holiday a little less stressful and help you focus on making great memories and enjoying this special time of year!
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