I think the goal of most people is to eventually end up one half of a couple. Rather that’s an acknowledged goal or just an expectation a person has in the back of their mind, as some point, most of us end up coupled in some way. This can take many forms, but whatever it looks like, the complicated issues of coupling create the opportunity for lots of joy and contentment and also the opportunity for much pain and despair. How we do it makes all the difference in the outcome. Being part of a couple is tricky, there are so many facets to this issue. I am part of a couple, having been a wife for over 15 years and with my husband for over 20 years. We, like most couples, have had our ups and downs. There’s no way to journey through life without a few bumps in the road. I feel very lucky that I am a marriage therapist, because I think it helps me to stay focused on what’s important. I see every day what can go wrong in relationships. I have the education to know how relationships need to function to be strong and healthy. However, as I will discuss in future articles, love is not something that happens in the cognitive part of our brain. So having information is not enough. I can know what to do to resolve an issue with my husband, I can be in the middle of an argument with him and know exactly the cycle we are in, but in that moment, I am still caught in my own emotion and at times still do exactly what I should NOT do.

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